Tonight

Tonight I am up. It's late and I should be sleeping, but I can't. I can't because I am overwhelmed by these 4 sweet kids that call me "Mom". Not the bad kind of overwhelmed, the good kind. I am overwhelmed with how much I LOVE THEM and even more than that, but how much they love me. Last night I was cleaning out all of my kids ears...I love to do that-I know, it's weird...but I was for some reason imagining my kids telling their kids about how their mom would make them line up for their turn to lay on her lap and get their ears cleaned. Isn't that such a silly thing!? Then all day I've been hearing their voices fast forwarded about 25-30 years telling their children about what our home was like when they were little...does this make any sense? And now here I sit completely overwhelmed by the trust and love and everything else good that they give to me. It makes me want to be good...it makes me want to be the BEST. I know that isn't possible, but it makes me want to try as hard as I possibly can. My mom told me when I had Ally that, "Kids make you become a better person than you ever wanted to!". That is so true. And the greatest thing is that the whole process is so much fun to go through!!! There is nothing that brings me more happiness than living with these 5 babes (Yes, Jonathan is included in that)! My only complaint is that they are growing WAY TOO FAST!!

So now I'm going to brag...I might as well just call it like it is, I'M BRAGGING!! But I do believe I have great merits to brag on!



Ally will be 7 in a month...am I happy about it? No! But on one hand she is growing and turning into the most beautiful person I have ever, EVER met! Yes I think she's beautiful on the outside (who wouldn't :)), but she is even more beautiful on the inside. She really, really, really is! Her heart is so good and so kind, I am blown away. It's not a show or a desire to just make me happy, it really is exactly who she is. She "gets" it. If her feelings ever get hurt, she never retaliates and wants to hurt someone back, she instantly thinks of them and doesn't want them to feel bad. She's incredible...I just can't think of any other word to describe her. I admire her so much and try to be like her more every day. I feel so blessed to be her mom for so many reasons, but one selfish reason is that I get to be with her FOREVER and knowing that she is happy about that also, is just more than I could ever hope for!

Isaac will be 5..really he will! I can remember when he was born and not even being able to imagine what a little boy would be like...well, he is the "PERFECT" boy. He is a joy in every single way. He is so unexplainably happy, it's just unlike anyone I've ever met before. He makes me SO, SO happy! He's just the perfect mix of mild, meek and tender and then all the rough boy stuff too. He has a forgiving heart and would NEVER, EVER hold a grudge no matter what! Lately he's been so affectionate to me and just will come give me a big kiss for no reason. His prayers are PRECIOUS. Today he had to get in some trouble for not minding (it's so heartbreaking to get him in trouble) and when I kneeled down by him for his prayers he said in the most innocent and sincere way, "Thank you for telling us what is right and wrong". I could have hugged him all night. He is the glue of our family and we all rely on him so much!

My little Austie is going to be 3 on Saturday. Oh, his life has gone fast! But then again I have a hard time believing that he's only going to be 3. He seems (and thinks he is) so much older than that. I often lump him in the group of "big kids" and find myself trying to remember that he's still such a little guy! Austin needs me and that makes me feel good. He could sit for hours with me just holding him. He would rub his cheek on mine all day if he could. I love it all! His perfect world would include his family and candy...anything else is just secondary. He loves to be taken care of by his brother and sisters and would willingly play any game they wanted! Just looking at his face brings JOY like nothing else can. He still wakes up most nights and comes to get in our bed...I always smile when I see that cute face and gladly wrap him up under the covers while he falls asleep rubbing my arm. Another awesome thing that I love about Austin is that he works hard and pushes himself. He can do things that I would never dream of doing! I could eat him right up!!

I'm not sure what to say about our little Bellie. "Perfect" just doesn't seem to do justice! Every baby should be from the mold she came from...but then again people would want too many babies! I know I'd have my collection! I knew when I got pregnant that whoever was sent to us was incredibly "special". Of course they all are special, but for whatever reason this feeling was different! I'm not sure I'll ever know exactly what those feelings were (or maybe I will?), all I know is that we all NEED her. For only about 10 1/2 months she sure has a big responsibility. Every morning we are all on pins and needles waiting for when she wakes up. The second we hear a sound we race in the bedroom to be the first to see that sunshine face. And it "shines" and doesn't stop all day long! She is so very snugly and will do it at anytime and for almost as long as you want. Then when she's ready to go to sleep all you have to do is lay her in your arms and her eyes close and her thumb goes in her mouth (it's like one of those dolls who's eyes close whey you lay them down). Really, I know she seems impossible...but she's real and it's all true!!

So there you have it. I may not have a lot of things and probably never will, but I am blessed with incredible kids (and also an amazing husband, but he warrants his own post for sure!!), and I couldn't ask for more! I love these 4 sweet kiddos...They all make me better!!! They are everything that is good!!